1. “You are so lucky to have him.”
An older lady once said this to me, and I promptly turned into a blubbering mess because I truly did feel grateful to have him. I so appreciated how she acknowledged that HE is the gift.
2. “Tell me about your son.”
Adoptive parents are dying to talk to you about the child they’re expecting. They want to tell you about the nursery/bedroom they’re getting ready and show you the latest picture. But we don’t get to do that very often because we don’t have bulging bellies that give us away. And sometimes, people feel awkward around us so they don’t ask us about our kids. Ask us! We are proud parents, and we want to tell you why!
3. “I’m throwing you a shower.”
Baby showers aren’t just for moms who are giving birth — or even for families who are adopting newborns. Adoption is STRESSFUL in SO MANY INEXPLICABLE WAYS. Give your friend the chance to celebrate and feel like the expecting mom that she is!
4. “You are all in my prayers.”
This old stand by is a good one. Adoptive children are dealing with grief and trauma, people. Our families need your prayers to heal from this!
5. “You are doing a great job.”
Adoptive parents often feel guilty and beat themselves up. Parenting techniques that worked with our bio kids may not work for our adoptive kids, and there may be days where we feel as though we are complete failures. I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of my own baggage and imperfections and accept that I’m not always in control in BIG WAYS since becoming an adoptive mom. I can’t tell you how much it means to me when a friend says something along the lines of, “You’re doing such a wonderful job.” or “I can tell how much he loves you.”
6. “I’m bringing you dinner.“
This may be overlooked because your friend is adopting a five-year-old and it’s not as though she just delivered a baby. But….YOUR FRIEND IS ADOPTING A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. Whether or not her family is growing by one newborn or one teenager, her family is growing and it is going to be chaotic for her. So bring her dinner.
We’re excited and it means a lot to us when you recognize that.