Sometimes God answers prayers that we never prayed. We have three kids with RAD, adopted 12 years ago, and it’s been a difficult journey. What I didn’t know is that the hole in my “mommy heart” was like a huge vacuum. After years of showering affection and getting nothing or very little in return, it starts to become normal. It’s normal at our house for my husband or I to come in the door after being gone and our kids don’t even look up from what their doing. There’s no, “Hi” or “Welcome home”, let alone a hug. It’s normal to hug my kids good night and say, “I love you” and be met only with silence. Normal is just how it is, so I don’t think about it very often. If I thought about what I was missing every day, the sadness would be overwhelming. So I just keep loving, keep doing what the counselors tell me to do, and keep praying that one day they will attach. But they are teens now- the age that most kids pull away from parents. How can you pull away if you were never close to start?
This Christmas, God must have seen that my “mommy hole” was so big- getting bigger every day- that He just couldn’t stand it any longer . My hole needed filling. The filling started when we brought home our first dog, Storm. He slept in my lap for the three hour drive home. That’s all it took. He’s attached- TO ME!
Every day, I am overwhelmed with affection from Storm. He is so excited to see me in the morning or when I come home, that his whole body wags. He showers me with kisses and makes a beautiful little grunting sound from his excitement. He follows me to every room. If I’m in the kitchen, he’s in the kitchen. If I go upstairs, he goes upstairs. He even sits on the bathroom mat waiting for me to get out of the shower each day. Unbelievable! I’m overwhelmed! It’s like a great void in my life is starting to disappear. I’m not just worth noticing, I’m worth excitement!
And the best part is this: Not only is Storm meeting a need in my life, he may actually help our kids with RAD learn how to show affection. They already show more affection to Storm than they ever have to us. I’m already seeing smiles that I’ve never seen. He might be their first true friend. He might give them the confidence they need to reach out to people. God might be answering LOTS of unprayed prayers- and all through fifty pounds of brown puppy fur, soft amber eyes, wet sloppy kisses, and cute floppy ears. What a blessing!